Liz, Liz, Liz...What ARE You Thinking?

by Crystal Laramore Lutz

17 February 2010

BEFORE you read this and judge me in any way pls let me preface this by saying that I am terribly sorry that Elizabeth Edwards has cancer and would not wish that
on the worst of my enemies (who happen to be terrorists-btw). This article is about women who stand by
their sorry rotten cheating
husbands-not about cancer.
Elizabeth Edwards is
suing Andrew Young for
breaking up her marriage.
WHAT? ARE YOU
KIDDING ME?
Oh who cares if it's
legal to sue him in North
Carolina or not? THAT
is not the point. The
point is that she is delusional!
Somehow she believes
that Andrew
Young caused or made
it easier for her husband,
the great moral
compass for her family,
the great “here for the little
people” John Edwards,
cheat on her.
WHILE SHE WAS
FIGHTING CANCER.
But don’t feel too sorry
for her, she is recovering
in a gazillion dollar
house that the "little"
people paid for but that’s
another article. Stay
tuned... I’m trying to be
sympathetic.
Ever since the whole
Edwards’ cancer/mansion/
affair/baby story
broke, I’ve wondered
who to be more frustrated
with....the two of
them for living a complete
and utter public lie
or the public for believing
the lie.
Hopefully young
women around the
world are paying close
attention. Older women,
like Elizabeth, should
just know better but it
just goes to prove that
even the rich and famous
can be as stupid
in relationships as all us
common peasants.
Elizabeth had this
stuff thrown in her face
over a couple of years
(AT LEAST!) and like
most women she chose
to just live with it. And,
like I said in the Tiger
Woods column “pick a
number, any number” if
you are wondering how
many women there
have been?
Well, clearly Elizabeth
cannot live with the fact
that her no good philandering
husband is also a
liar. Now she is blaming
his broken moral compass
on someone else.
There is no way in
Hades that Elizabeth is
surprised by the events
of the last few months.
I'M not surprised. Are
you? Were you
shocked that Rielle
Hunter’s baby belonged
to John Edwards?
Right. Neither was Elizabeth.
Just wrap yourself
in your warm fuzzies
and know that she knew.
Women around the
globe have one (if not
more) common genetic
trait-WE KNOW! We
may act like we don’t
know; we may not
WANT to know; you
may not want us to
know; you may not think
we know...BUT WE
KNOW.
Elizabeth is also playing
the victim when as a
liberal woman with
NOW on her side and a
gazillion dollar mansion
she is anything but. I
mean she’s got a HUGE
home and a LOT of disposable
income to help
ease her pain. And if
she wants I can bring
over the puffs plus and
the Big A$$ Shiraz left
over from last year...I’m
just sayin’.
Don’t get me wrong, I
sympathize with the fact
that her kids will lose
their father in the home
but she will lose a
cheater. And from what
I hear there had been an
awful lot of yelling going
on in the last two years.
In any case, she should
have kicked his sorry
butt to the curb a long
time ago and never
looked back.
So, why didn’t she?
Cuz she wanted to believe
his pretty little lies.
Cuz she is afraid of
being alone. Cuz she is
sick and She is scared.
Cuz, cuz, cuz.
It may take awhile but
hopefully Elizabeth will
learn that life, the life
she has left, is far too
precious to waste it
hanging out with someone
who is stepping out.
Elizabeth will actually
feel better and begin to
look better and be able
to handle her disease
better once she embraces
the fact that her
husband’s actions had
nothing to do with her;
when she realizes that
his ugliness has nothing
to do with her and last
but not least, when she
realizes that SHE DID
NOTHING WRONG except
to not kick his sorry
butt to the curb a long
time ago.
Over the next few
weeks and months we
may see Elizabeth Edwards
lash out in completely
destructive,
unexplainable ways; like
suing Andrew Young for
her failed marriage.
We all just need to realize
that she is hurt, not
stupid. Dilutional and
certainly heartbroken
but not stupid.
Andrew Young...
This is another article
altogether but a few
words for today...
Andrew Young and
his wife DO NOT get a
free pass because they
have all of a sudden
“seen the light”. Seems
that since Edwards (the
Cheating one) financially
cut off the Young
family they have seen
the light. Suddenly, they
are righteous. Suddenly
they are repentant.
Suddenly...there is also
money in their repentance.
Yes, as I always
say “follow the money”.
The same holds true
here. Andrew Young is
not doing the public a
service by turning over
evidence and spilling his
guts; he is doing himself
a service- a financial
service. Andrew Young
was not a man convicted
by his beliefs a
year ago and that is certainly
not what is driving
him now. His motivation
for suddenly finding HIS
moral compass is
money. The good old
green-back. Currently
NOT backed by goldbtw.

8 January 2010

Breaking Up is Hard To do...

By Crystal Laramore Lutz


For a long time now I've been having an affair. Many of you reading this will be surprised and some you already know. Admittedly, it's not a healthy relationship. Actually, it's killing me. But just like many of you out there, I can't manage to conjure up the self esteem or the intestinal fortitude to just end it; walk away; BREAK UP!
It's like I can't do it (whatever "it" is) on my own. I need BH (Bad Habit) to lose weight, to feel pretty, to look cool, to keep me company, to love me, blah, blah, blah. When we break up I feel great! Then I get a little stressed out and go back! And every single time I feel worse for it in the morning; it's like a rock sitting on my chest and it's hard to breathe. So, I make a secret decision that this really IS the last time. Then my friends and I might open a great bottle of wine and start drinking and telling stories and next thing you know-I'm looking for around BH and a little fire...
Sometimes I think it's just gone on for too long and there's no hope. Then other times I'm strong and can be without my addictive/abusive relationship for months; one time I went two years! Just when I began feeling whole again guess who came knocking? Like an old, dear friend or that favorite pair of blue jeans-you just look at 'em and remember how comfortable they were; not how miserable you were when you outgrew them and tried to fit back in them. Yes, the years have a way of erasing the pain. Good news is that it only takes that one something er other for all the painful memories to come flooding back through your brain like a tsunami and you're standing there with your bad habit thinking "OH! THAT'S WHY WE BROKE UP"!
Several months ago I was having one of those weak moments and went to the place where we most often meet up, Exxon, and while I sat in the car holding my bad habit, unwrapping it, smelling it, breathing it in, I had an epiphany; maybe this is why I can't let go; each time I buy a brand new pack of Winston Ultra Lights (cuz Winston has no artificial additives-as if THAT will keep the lung cancer and COPD at bay...) it's like opening a present. First of all you have a new shiny box, then you actually get to UNWRAP it! All that ceremony! When you have unwrapped you very own box of cancer and opened it up you are NEVER disappointed! Staring right at you are twenty new gifts. Gifts of death you can be certain but gifts none the less.
Maybe that's why we never really all the way break up. Too much ceremony. Too much history. There are a lot of stories in my life and there aren't too many I can tell without remembering my bad habit right there by my side; never judging. Through thick and thin-mostly thin cuz that's another thing they're good for; for better or worse; richer or poorer; no matter how many times I break up with them; they have always been ready and willing to take me back.