November 2011
Yes, you may start laughing NOW! Where is U-Tube when you need them? Several months ago I bought the Zumba workout kit. Why? Well, almost every woman I saw who had lost a significant amount of weight AND looked toned said-in a very Latin/sexy tone of voice-"ZUMBA BABY"! From my sister-in law, who is Hispanic to my girlfriend in Houston who is Indian (from India) Zumba has hit home in las casas todos!
Me and my Julio Iglesias loving-I can sing all of his songs IN Spanish-self figured since I was so in-tune with the Hispanic culture I should be able to Zumba. After all, I lived in Spain for a whole month, have salsa danced for years as a tweenie (someone in their twenties) and saw Ricky Martin LIVE in a Bull-fighting arena for the love of all things Latin! Piece of Cake! Let's just state here that I am now clear a man will tell you ANYTHING to get you to color outside the lines. Clearly, even tell you you can (salsa) dance. If you want to know whether or not YOU can salsa dance-I have the bench mark test...Zumba Baby!
So, after a twenty minute ordeal of figuring out the DVD system, which did NOT count as a workout, I was plugged in to the newest craze for Las ninas Flacas everywhere! When the rhythm started and I saw all the people on the stage I was ready! Then their bodies started moving and I fell down. Luckily I heard someone say, "Now that you have done the basic video-please make sure you do the basic video first-you are ready for the Zumba LIVE workout"! Ariba!
Holy $#!t! What BASIC video...hold on...Whew! There it was, like a tortilla next to barbacoa. Quickly, before my husband noticed, I switched out the cd's and was calmed by a less rhythmic tone. Just 16 beats/second! But still, it didn't help my coordination look any more Latin. More like a duck skating on ice for the first time. "Who am I and where did Crystal go?" I asked myself while looking at my reflection in the TV and stumbling over my feet. What has happened to my rhythm? Maybe I'm just feeling under pressure to perform in front of the three hot Latin chicas on the DVD...I really do want to make an impression so they will invite me back to the live performance but I'm afraid the impression I'm making is more akin to rednecks taking a city slicker snipe hunting. I'm just sayin'.
This all started b/c one of my girlfriends and I are going to start taking salsa lessons. I'm white and she's black. We're going to be in a salsa class. Does ANYONE have a video camera we can borrow? Oh, and don't think cuz she's black she has any more rhythm than I have. She does not. The stereotype ends here. I know. I was shocked too. And if I can get a couple more runs through the video before our first real class I can look a little better than her. And really, isn't that what working out is all about? Looking better than your friends?
And if that IS the goal, I suggest you take your first Zumba class in an enclosed environment or in a foreign county. Cuz if your friends see you doing the booty circle or the body roll for the very first time...I"m just sayin! No muy caliente!
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